Help Yourself

A traveling preacher finds himself in a tremendous rainstorm.

Within a few hours the hotel he is staying in becomes flooded. As the water rises, the preacher climbs to the roof and starts praying.

"Lord, save me so I can continue on my mission of preaching your gospel."

Just then, a coast guard rescue party floats by in a rowboat. "Let's go mister. Into the boat."

"I'll stay here," says the preacher, "The Lord will save me."

An hour later a second boat reaches the scene and the water is close to the roof of the hotel. "Sir, you better get in. the water is still rising."

"No thanks. The Lord will be my salvation."

Toward evening, the hotel is almost completely under water and the preacher is clinging to the satellite dish on the roof. A helicopter is spotted and on a loudspeaker is heard "Sir, grab on to the line and we will pull you up. This is your last chance.

"I'm all right," says the preacher, as he looks heavenward. "I know the Lord will provide sanctuary."

As the boat departs, the satellite dish is hit by lightning and the preacher is killed. When he arrived at the Pearly Gates he was furious.

"What happened, " he shouts. "I thought the Lord would provide!"

Moments later a thunderous voice is heard. "Gimmie a break pal. I sent you 2 boats and a chopper"