3 SONS AND A WISE MOTHER (Joke)

Three sons went out for Good and prospered.

after all they met...,they are discussing what they have gifted their
loving mother.

first one says i had Built a big mansion for her...,

the second says..., i had sent a Benz with driver..,

the third one says i had gifted a precious parrot which recites the
whole bible..., just u name the chapter and verse....

Soon after, Mom sent out her letters of thanks to her three sons...,

TO her elder son .., she replies ..the house is too big and recite at a
single room and i have to clean all the house.

To the second son she replies..., I am too old to travel; its waste of
money

To the younger one she writes- Dear, you have a good sense..., you know
what your mother likes..,"The chicken was delicious."

Source: from an email forward

Playing Golf With Dad

Three people in heaven decided one day to play a round of golf at the heavenly country club. 

 

The first man stepped up to the tee, hit his drive, and watched as it headed straight for the water hazard. Just as the ball was about to land in the water, he raised his club, pointed it out over the water, and the waters parted, allowing the ball to land on dry ground.

 

He walked out between the two columns of water, and hit a perfect second shot, right in the middle of the green. One of his partners said, “Wow, good shot, Moses!” 

 

The second man walked up to the tee, hit his drive, and watched as it took a nearly identical flight path, straight toward the water. But when the ball hit, it landed and stayed right on top of the water. 

 

He walked out across the water and hit a second shot which was also identical, landing at the center of the green. Moses told him, “Hey, that’s a pretty good shot yourself, Jesus!” 

 

Then the third man came to the tee box, teed up, and hit his drive. The drive took a nasty slice and went straight into the trees, caroming off in the wrong direction, heading for the out-of-bounds marker. 

 

Right at that moment, a squirrel who happened to nearby saw the ball and thought it might be good to eat, so it grabbed the ball and started running towards the fairway. When the squirrel was about halfway across the fairway, suddenly an eagle swooped down out of nowhere and grabbed the squirrel in its claws, flying away with both squirrel and ball. 

 

Just as the eagle’s flight took it across the green, it lost its grip on the squirrel and dropped it. The squirrel landed flat on its belly, jarring the ball loose, which then took two bounces and landed squarely in the center of the cup. 

 

Moses cast a disgusted glance at Jesus and said, “That’s why I can’t STAND to play golf with your Dad.” --Received by email, original source unknown

Management Stories

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more."
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV.
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene : Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral : IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

Management Lesson in the context of the working world : IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES

Source: from an email forward

The Tailor's Needle

A tailor was at work. He took a piece of cloth and with a pair of shining, costly, scissors, he cut the cloth into various bits.

Then he put the pair of scissors at his feet. Then he took a small needle and thread and started to sew the bits of cloth, into a fine shirt. When the spell of sewing was over, he stuck the needle on to his turban.

The tailor's son who was watching it asked him: "Father, the scissors are costly and look so beautiful. But you throw them down at your feet. This needle is worth almost nothing; you can get a dozen for an Anna. Yet, you place it carefully on your head itself. Is there any reason for this illogical Behaviour?"

"Yes, my son. The scissors have their function, no doubt; but they only cut the cloth into bits. The needle, on the contrary, unites the bits and enhances the value of the cloth. Therefore, the needle to me is more precious and valuable. The value of a thing depends on its utility, son, not on its cost-price or appearance."

Similarly, there are two classes of people in the world-those who create dissensions and disharmony, who separate man from man; and those who bring about peace and harmony, who unite people.

*******
The former are generally the rich people, powerful politicians and kings; the latter are generally the poor devotees of God, the penniless wandering monks, and mendicants. The Lord makes use of both to carry on his function of providing the field for the evolution of individual souls. He throws down on the dust the mighty kings and millionaires who create wars and disharmony; and He keeps the poor, pious devotee over His own head. In His eyes the scale of values is entirely different!

Source: from an email forward

The Dreams

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi, handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and share a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only few secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. "You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dean and don't even know it!"

"There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change."

"Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing The Rose. She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the years end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Remember : GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

Source: from an email forward

The Touchstone

When the great library of Alexandria burned, the story goes, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for a few coppers.

The book wasn't very interesting, but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the "Touchstone"!

The touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly like it. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while ordinary pebbles are cold.

So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore, and began testing pebbles. He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt one that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of them was the touchstone. Yet he went on and on this way. Pick up a pebble. Cold - throw it into the sea. Pick up another. Throw it into the sea.

The days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months. One day, however, about midafternoon, he picked up a pebble and it was warm. He threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along, he still threw it away.

So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it's easy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in hand and it's just as easy to throw it away.

Source: from an email forward

The Wise Songbird

The Wise Songbird

Once upon a time there was a golden songbird that lived in a beautiful garden. It spent all its days singing the loveliest songs to the honour of its maker and the delight of all the people who heard it.

But the keeper of the garden, who was a foolish and greedy man, coveted the little songster, and one day he made a cunning net in which he snared it. The little bird begged the man to release him and promised to tell him three great secrets if only he would let him go. Now the gardener really was a very greedy man and rubbing his hands together, he eagerly released the bird.

Then the songbird told him it's three great secrets:Never believe all that you hear; Never regret what you have never lost, and never throw away that which you have in your keeping.

The gardener was furious when he heard this and said he had known these so-called 'secrets' since he was a little child and shouted that the bird had tricked him. But the songbird quietly replied that if the man had really known these three secrets, or only the last of them, he would never have let him go.

Then the bird added:"I have a most precious jewel weighing over three ounces hidden inside me and whoever possesses that marvellous stone will have every wish granted."

On hearing this, the keeper roared like a lion and cursed himself for setting the songster free. But the little bird only added fuel to his rage by explaining that since he weighed no more than half an ounce at most, as anyone with eyes could plainly see, how was it possible that a gem weighing more than three ounces could be hidden within it's tiny body?

At that the man tore his hair and lunged at the bird in a towering rage, but the little songbird flew to a nearby branch and added sweetly:"Since you never had the jewel in your hands you are already regretting what you never lost, and believing what I told you, you threw it away by setting me free."

Then the little songbird told the man to study well these three great secrets and so become as wise as the bird himself!

Source: from an email forward