Better to Ask Than Assume

Better to Ask than Assume

The late Bill Love used to tell the story of a psychiatrist, engineer, and doctor who got lost in the Canadian woods. Stumbling on a trapper's cabin but getting no response at the door, they went inside for shelter and waited for his return.

In the corner, on a crude platform at the waist-high level, was a wood-burning stove. It quickly became not only the focus of interest for their half-frozen bodies but the center of their conversation as well.

The psychiatrist explained the stove's unusual position as evidence of psychological problems brought on by isolation. The engineer, on the other hand, saw it as an ingenious form of forced-air heating. The physician surmised the poor fellow had arthritis and found it too painful to bend over to fuel his stove.

When the trapper finally arrived, they could not resist asking about the stove whose warmth had saved them. "Simple," he said. "My stove pipe was too short."

I wasn't along for that hunting trip, but I've been where those guys were that day. I've tried to read someone's mind. I've seen motives that weren't there. I've walked into situations, caught a snippet of what was happening, and made a fool of myself by some badly chosen response. Or I've used a perfectly innocent slip of the tongue as my excuse to take offense. I can be a real jerk at times!

On occasion, the victim has been a stranger. At other times, it was a friend from church or colleague at work. Most often, it has been my wife or child.

Communication is a wonderful thing - when it happens. But there are so many barriers. Each of us brings baggage to every situation. Words can be vague or carry very different nuances for people from different backgrounds. Then there are the prejudices and blind spots all of us have.

Lots of confusion could be eliminated and far more progress made this week by following this simple rule: When something isn't clear, ask. Don't assume. Don't guess. Don't mind-read. Try swallowing your pride and say, "I'm not sure I understand. Do you mind explaining that to me?"

This simple strategy could save you embarrassment, time, and money. More important still, it might save one of your life's most important relationships.

Death in the wealth

Death in the wealth

Three friends were roaming around in the forest. Suddenly they heard a sound "Run away!!! "Run away!!! There is death, death, death!!!" An old man running away and crying in a loud voice. "Death, death, death!!!, run away from it!!!".

These three friends also run after that old man and asked what is the matter? The old man pointing to a cave and said that there is death in that cave. These friends decided to check what is in that cave. They said each other that we are three, and if there is anything dangerous we may help each other and went ahead to check what is in that cave.

When they reached the cave, to their utter amazement, they found a lot of Gold, Silver and other precious Gems filled inside the cave. They decided to collect all the Gold, silver and precious stones. They collected and put it in different bags. They said each other that this treasure is more than enough for our next five generations to live a lavish life. While they collect the Gold and gems they felt hungry. They decided to send one of them to return to the city and collect food while the other two can continue collecting the treasure. Two of the friends stayed back and continue collecting the gold and precious gems while one fellow went to the city to get food.

The one who went to collect food thought what is the point in dividing the treasures with other two? He decided to get rid of the other two and have the wealth for himself. He decided to poison the food and get rid of his friends. He bought the food for his two friends and mixed it with poison and returned.

In the meanwhile, the other two friends, who were collecting the treasure talked to each other and said that if we divide it into three, we will get less wealth. If we can get rid of the one who went for food, we can divide it into two and get more wealth. So they decided to kill the one who went to collect food on his return. They hid and waited for his return.

As soon as the friend who brought the food reached the cave, the other two attacked and killed him. After killing, they felt hungry and they took the food he brought and ate. Due to the poison in the food, they both died after a few minutes.

The old man who runs away from the wealth is right. There is death in the greed of wealth.

Pardon Refused

In 1829 a Philadelphia man named George Wilson robbed the U.S. mail, killing someone in the process. Wilson was arrested, brought to trial, found guilty, and sentenced to death by hanging.

Some friends intervened in his behalf and were finally able to obtain a presidential pardon for him from then-president Andrew Jackson.

When George Wilson was told about the pardon he refused to accept it! The Sheriff was unwilling to hang Wilson with a presidential pardon, so he contacted the president about the prisoner's unwillingness to accept the pardon and to give him instructions about what he should do, execute him or not?

The perplexed president turned to the United States Supreme Court to decide the case. Chief Justice Marshall ruled that a pardon is a piece of paper, the value of which depends on its acceptance by the person who it is given to. If the person chose to refuse it then it is no longer really a pardon!

Therefore, the Supreme Court ruled that the pardon had to be accepted or the penalty still stood! George Wilson, therefore, was hanged, refusing the very pardon that could have set him free!

This is the same thing about salvation through Christ, it must be accepted to be valid, though Christ has paid the price, we must accept it or the wrath of God will be ours. – Source Unknown

YOUR ATTITUDE CONTRIBUTES TO SUCCESS

Someone once approached Blaise Pascal, the famous French philosopher and said, "If I had your brains, I would be a better person." Pascal replied, "Be a better person and you will have my brains."


The Calgary Tower stands at 190.8 meters. The total weight of the tower is 10,884 tons, of which 6,349 tons is below ground (approximately 60%). This shows that some of the greatest buildings have the strongest foundations. Just like a great building stands on a strong foundation, so does success. And the foundation of success is attitude.


A study attributed to Harvard University found that when a person gets a job, 85% of the time it is because of their attitude, and only 15% of the time because of how smart they are and how many facts and figures they know. Surprisingly, almost 100% of education dollars go to teach facts and figures which account for only 15% of success in work!

Easier Way ends up being the tougher way

Once there was a lark singing in the forest. A farmer was traveling through the forest. The lark stopped him and asked, "What do you have in the box and where are you going?"

The farmer replied that he had worms and that he was going to the market to trade them for some feathers.

The lark said, "I have many feathers. I will pluck one and give it to you and that will save me looking for worms." The farmer gave the worms to the lark and the lark plucked a feather and gave it in return.

The next day the same thing happened and the day after and on and on until a day came that the lark had no more feathers. Now it couldn't fly and hunt for worms. It started looking ugly and stopped singing and very soon it died.

What is the moral of the story?

The moral is quite clear what the lark thought was an easy way to get food turned out to be the tougher way after all.

Isn't the same thing true in our lives? Many times we look for the easier way, which really ends up being the tougher way.

THE STRUGGLE

Trials in life can be tragedies or triumphs, depending on how we handle them. Triumphs don't come without effort.

A biology teacher was teaching his students how a caterpillar turns into a butterfly. He told the students that in the next couple of hours, the butterfly would struggle to come out of the cocoon. But no one should help the butterfly. Then he left.

The students were waiting and it happened. The butterfly struggled to get out of the cocoon, and one of the students took pity on it and decided to help the butterfly out of the cocoon against the advice of his teacher. He broke the cocoon to help the butterfly so it didn't have to struggle anymore. But shortly afterwards the butterfly died.

When the teacher returned, he was told what happened. He explained to this student that by helping the butterfly, he had actually killed it because it is a law of nature that the struggle to come out of the cocoon actually helps develop and strengthen its wings. The boy had deprived the butterfly of its struggle and the butterfly died.

Apply this same principle to our lives. Nothing worthwhile in life comes without a struggle. As parents we tend to hurt the ones we love most because we don't allow them to struggle to gain strength.

The magic in you

I would like to tell you a story if you are willing to read on, I think it can change your thinking and could change your life.

A bear is silently strolling around in the woods looking for food.

Out of the corner of her eye she spots a mountain lion, silently creeping toward her.  The bear slowly turns her head in the other direction and spots another mountain lion.  Her worst fears are being realized.  She is being ambushed, if there are two, there will be more.

She quickly turns here head and spots another two lions.  As her head turns she feels a hot searing pain in her back as one of the lions has pounced on her and dug his claws deep into her back.  The bear struggles but can't find her roar to shout for help and to scare the lions away. 

Another lion sinks his teeth into her leg.  And the other two lions pounces on her back and front.

For a few moments the bear gives up and thinks she is good as dead.  The a picture of her cubs jumps into her mind.  She sees the cubs looking for their mother, looking for food and at that moment she knows the cubs will die if she does not go back to the large hole under the oak tree, where they are dwelling.

Another claw just misses her eye as she sees the lion about to bite into her neck.  The three cubs keep coming back into her mind and suddenly she rises.....  

She rises to shake off two of the lions and lets out an almighty roar.....she sahkes another lion from her leg and swats another as he pounces again, she looks at the lion face on and roars another massive, bellowing roar.

The lions stops in its tracks....another roar confirms his suspicion that this bear wants to live, and will do anything to survive.  He turns and walks awya and the other lions join him.

The bear, limps slowly back to her cubs and cradles them in her fur as she feeds them.

The magic in you.

We all have magic in us, we all have that spark that says I am not going to settle for a mundane life, I want to live, I want to dance, I want to do something, I want to live and feel totally alive.

The trick to life is finding your magic, finding the meaning that will drive you forward every single day of your life. So many of us have given up.

I've heard countless stories  of men and women who have retired after working for 45 years, only to die a few years after retirement, their fight had left them, they hadn't found the magic inside of them.

You goal in life should be to find the magic inside of you, find it quick and keep driving toward it every single day of your life, you truly are magical, you might not realize it but the magic is there.

When you have found the magic, there's only one thing you need to do with it................ Share it with others.