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Monday, November 15, 2010

How Would You Like to Be Remembered When You Are Gone

Taken from Nitro Noble's House Journal (Alfred Noble's Company) Sweden May 1977
 
How Would You Like to Be Remembered When You Are Gone ?

Are you startled by this question?
Have you ever given this a little thought ?
 
If you haven't, I would be serious when I suggest that you should give this a hard good look and cast this statement in your mind. "When I am gone I would like people to remember me as….."

About a 100+ years ago, a man looked at the morning newspaper and to his dismay and horror, he read his name in the front page. "Dynamite Kind Dies." 
 
This was cast in a square grey tinted box with a thick black line on the borders."

His first response was awesomely shocking. "Am I there or here? When he regained his composure after a while, his next thought was to actually find out what people said of him, what people thought of him

The obituary news read as follows:

"He was the merchant of death. This man was the inventor of the dynamite. One most cruel invention that could kill people while it was being made, and even many more when it was used. A substance of mass killing, and a deadly weapon in the hands of those who wishes to create terror and rule the scene…. The story continued with several curses added to it.

He asked himself, "Is this how people view me?
 
Is this the way they will think of me?
 
Is this the way they will remember me?

He decided then and there that he would change the situation made a firm resolve to clear the stigma that was being associated with his name. 
 
From that day on he started working towards peace, and sure enough he left an indelible mark on this planet. He is remembered even this day as Alfred Noble. 
 
He gave his entire earnings to establish a foundation that would work for peace in the world, and today too it awards prizes for achievers all over the world for their unique contributions to the welfare of mankind. He lives on even today through this mission and the Noble prizes are awarded in his honor.


Just as Alfred Noble redefined his values, I believe all of us should step back and do the same taking a leaf out of this man's true story.

What will be your legacy?
How would you like to be remembered?
Will you be spoken off well?
Will you be remembered with love and respect?
Will you be missed?

Never Give Up

This story is about a farmer and his mule. The effectiveness of the story lies in the way it focuses upon adversity and how attitude determines the course of seemingly lost cause. There was this farmer in a tiny village.

He owned an old mule that used to carry grains and other farming related stuff for the farmer. During one of those days, the mule fell into a well. The well ran deep and despite trying hard many a times, mule couldn’t get himself out the well. He started to lose hope. His consistent shrieks drew attention of the farmer who came rushing to the well.

Farmer looked around and tried to come up with a rescue plan but eventually, he also lost the hope. He decided that the old mule was not worth the trouble of saving. So, he called his neighbours and asked for their help in hauling dirt to bury the old mule.

The mule got hysterical. Soon enough, the farmer and the neighbours started to shovel and fill the well with the dirt. When the first bout of dirt hit mule’s back, suddenly his fast losing spirit came up with an idea. He thought every time a shovel load of dirt will land on his back, he will just shake it off and step up a bit higher. The idea filled him with a new lease of life and hope.

Old mule kept doing the same blow after blow. He would just shake the dirt off and step up a notch higher. He kept reminding himself of possibility of a brand new life. He controlled his nerves and kept stepping up. After some time, the exhausted mule managed to step over the wall of that well. He was completely tired and fatigued yet his spirit triumphed. The dirt that was meant to bury him actually helped him in remaining alive.

The story is a clear example of how our attitude towards seemingly impossible adversities determines the final outcome. Life is like this only. If we respond positively to the stream of problems faced by us and refuse to surrender, we are likely to emerge victorious.

How to Deal With Unwanted Situations

By: Sudha Menon

When I was staying in Calcutta, taking classes on the Isha Vasya Upanishad, a man came to see me.


He said, “I have a problem. I don’t sleep well at night because I live in an area where there are plenty of street dogs. Every night they start barking, and keep barking till sunrise. I am already a very light sleeper, and I simply can’t get any rest because of this noise.”


He was told, “Go home and try this tonight. When you hear the barking, just drop the anger, the negative feelings that rise up in you. Just listen to the barking sound without resisting. Tell yourself that the dogs are barking; that’s all. Don’t allow yourself to react. The problem is not the barking, but your resistance to it.”


The man went back tried what was said. After a few days he came back and reported, “I tried dropping my resistance as you said. Instead of thinking, ‘How dare those stupid dogs spoil my sleep?’ I tried changing my thoughts gradually:

‘The dogs are barking. It is spoiling my sleep.…’

‘The dogs are barking…’

‘Some animals are creating some sounds…’
 
By the time I came to that sentence, I think I fell asleep. Anyway,
 
I’ve been having excellent sleep all these days. “

This can happen with you also. Any situation can be dealt with, if you know how to drop your negativity, if you know how to drop your negative reaction to it. This is the key to open the Manipuraka chakra.


But the mind is so eager to harbor, to settle down in familiar patterns of inner chatter. This is the basis of the working of worry. The mind always looks to typecast things. It needs comparison all the time between past, present and future and this comparison, this reference, this judgment, gives birth to worry.


Worries are nothing but familiar dwelling patterns for our mind. These familiar patterns are called engrams in the field of human psychology. Engrams are the engraved memories of the past, which serve as an undesirable resource inside us for all our present and future actions. Because of these stored engrams, we react illogically in the present.

Clear Mind, Clean Mind

Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers.  While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty. Go and get me some water from that lake there.”


The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid. The disciple thought, “How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!”


So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.” After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake.


This time too he found that the lake was muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same. After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back. The disciple reached the lake to find the lake absolutely clean and clear with pure water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.


Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said,” See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be…. and the mud settled down on its own – and you got clear water. Your mind is also like that! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless.
 

Friday, September 17, 2010

A Story to Live By

What Special Someday Are We Saving For?

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package.


"This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie."

He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite: silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached.


"Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least eight or nine years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion."


He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment. Then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.


"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."


I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when
I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special.


I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings.

Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.

I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event--such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for a small bag of groceries without wincing.
I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are fighting a losing battle to stay in my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.


I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing--I'll never know.


It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with--someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write--one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them.
I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives.


And every morning when I open my eyes I tell myself that this is a special occasion.

Ann Wells

Ann Wells penned the column a couple of years after her sister unexpectedly died, and several years before she would lose her husband. Her work somehow made its way to the Internet, where it moves by email and chain letters, compliments of the forward button, and has been renamed "A Story to Live By." Wells, a retired secretary and occasional freelancer, was stunned that the essay, first published in The Los Angeles Times in April 1985, has been zipping through cyberspace. She doesn't even have email. "I'm as surprised as anyone," Wells said.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Triple Filter Test.

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"

"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?"

"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not.

Now let's try the second filter, the filter of goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of usefulness.

Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

"No not really …”

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

This is why Socrates was a great philosopher & held in such high esteem.

The Best Manager

One stormy night many years ago, an elderly man and his wife entered the lobby of a small hotel in Philadelphia . Trying to get out of the rain, the couple approached the front desk hoping to get some shelter for the night.

"Could you possibly give us a room here?" the husband asked.

The clerk, a friendly man with a winning smile, looked at the couple and explained that there were three conventions in town. "All of our rooms are taken," the clerk said. "But I can't send a nice couple like you out into the rain at one o'clock in the morning. Would you perhaps be willing to sleep in my room? It's not exactly a suite, but it will be good enough to make you folks comfortable for the night."

When the couple declined, the young man pressed on. "Don't worry about me, I'll make out just fine," the clerk told them.

So the couple agreed.

As he paid his bill the next morning, the elderly man said to the clerk, "You are the kind of manager who should be the boss of the best hotel in the United States.

Maybe someday I'll build one for you."

The clerk looked at them and smiled. The three of them had a good laugh. As they drove away, the elderly couple agreed that the helpful clerk was indeed exceptional, as finding people who are both friendly and helpful isn't easy.

Two years passed. The clerk had almost forgotten the incident when he received a letter from the old man. It recalled that stormy night and enclosed a round-trip ticket to New York , asking the young man to pay them a visit.

The old man met him in New York , and led him to the corner of Fifth Avenue and 34th Street . He then pointed to a great new building there, a pale reddish stone, with turrets and watchtowers thrusting up to the sky.

"That," said the older man, "is the hotel I have just built for you to manage."

"You must be joking," the young man said.

"I can assure you I am not," said the older man, a sly smile playing around his mouth.

The older man's name was William Waldorf-Aster, and that magnificent structure was the original Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. The young clerk who became its first manager was George C. Boldt. This young clerk never foresaw the turn of events that would lead him to become the manager of one of the world's most glamorous hotel.