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Thursday, March 11, 2010

Pounding In and Pulling Out Nails

Pounding In and Pulling Out Nails

When I confronted my daughter after she hurt another child with a mean comment, she cried and immediately wanted to apologize. That was a good thing, but I wanted her to know an apology can't always make things better.

I told her the parable of Will, a 9-year-old whose father abandoned his mom two years earlier. Will was angry, and he often lashed out at others with hurtful words. He once told his mom, "I see why Dad left you!"

Unable to cope with his cruel outbursts, she sent him to his grandparents for the summer. His grandfather's strategy to help Will learn self-control was to make him go into the garage and pound a two-inch-long nail into a four-by-four board every time he said a mean thing.

For a small boy, this was a major task, and he couldn't return until the nail was all the way in. After about ten trips to the garage, Will began to be more cautious about his words. Eventually, he even apologized for all the bad things he'd said.

That's when his grandmother stepped in. She told him to bring in the board filled with nails and instructed him to pull them all out. This was even harder than pounding them in, but after a huge struggle, he did it.

His grandmother hugged him and said, "I appreciate your apology, and of course I forgive you because I love you, but I want you to know an apology is like pulling out one of these nails. Look at the board. The holes are still there. The board will never be the same. Your dad put a hole in you, Will, but please don't put holes in other people. You're better than that."

Michael Josephson
www.charactercounts.org

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Catching Fish In A Jar

Catching Fish In A Jar

When I was between eleven and twelve years old I decided one bright sunny day that it would be fun to go fishing. I didn't have any fishing gear and I had never done much fishing other than to play on the stream banks while my father fished. I also didn't want to "hurt" the fish I just wanted to catch them and then let them go.

I looked around the house for what I could use and I found a washed out old mayonnaise jar. You know the old style jars with the big open "mouth". I walked to a nearby pond and put the jar down in the soft dust-like mud of the water's edge with the open "mouth" of the jar facing toward the center. I then stirred the waters a little and made them cloudy so that the fish would have trouble seeing me. Then I waited hovering over the jar. Gradually, cautiously a small fish would swim up to the clear jar to investigate the disturbance and when it swam into the jar I dropped my hand into the water and over the jar mouth. I caught a fish, then another.

I just let them all go and returned my jar to the cupboard. Then I decided to use wire "box trap" to go fishing and rigged a string to the door. This way I could drop the trap in the water and not have to "hover over" it like I did with the jar. I sat very relaxed on the bank of the pond and sure enough I caught a fair sized bluegill. I took it home in a water filled plastic waste basket to show my dad and afterward returned it to the pond.

When I told people about how I had caught the fish they just paused and laughed nervously. You see unlike these people, I didn't know that you couldn't catch fish in a jar. If I would have asked them they would have scoffed and said, "You can't catch fish in a jar or a box trap!" No one in my life had ever dreamed of telling me that so my belief system did not contain these words or the impact that they would have had on my "day of fishing". Only a free minded kid could come up with an idea of using a jar or a box trap to catch fish! No one had told me that this was impossible so I just used what I was familiar with and what I had available and I succeeded.

Maybe today finds you facing a situation that seems impossible. You have a desire but no visible way of bringing it into being. You may need to find that "kid" inside you who thinks "outside the box" and the normal ways of achieving things and let him or her catch that fish in a jar! See your situation from a different angle. Start looking at the resources that you already have and the things that you are already familiar with. A fresh perspective and a childlike sense of wonder may surprise you and there's no telling what you will come up with!

Jami Sell

Catching Fish In A Jar is an excerpt from author Jami Sell's new book Thought And Belief: How To Unlock Your Potential And Fulfill Your Destiny! © 2010 All Rights Reserved. It is available at amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.com, and in fine bookstores everywhere. Click here to: Preview Book!

http://mysite.verizon.net/vzewfwkk/thoughtandbelief/id6.html

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

External Motivation

A company wanted to set up a pension plan for its employees. 100% participation of the employees were required to install the plan. The plan was in the best interest of all the employees and made sense to everyone. Except Samuel, everyone signed up. Samuel's supervisor and other co-workers had tried to persuade him without success. Samuel not signing was the only obstacle for the implementation of the plan.

The owner of the company called Samuel in his office and said "Samuel, here is the pen and these are the papers for you to sign to enroll in the pension plan. If you don't enroll, you are fired this minute." Samuel signed the papers right away.

The owner asked Samuel, why he hadn't signed earlier. Samuel replied "No one explained the plan quite clearly as you did."

External motivation comes from outside such as fame, fear, social approval and money. Fear of getting spanked by parents and fear of getting fired at work are some examples of external motivation.

Breaking Free: Letting Go of the Nuts that Hold Us Back

Monkey hunters in India employ various techniques to capture monkeys. One method involves using a box fastened to a tree or a hole created within the tree itself. This box or hole is designed with an opening at the top, specifically large enough for a monkey to slip its hand into. Inside the box, a selection of nuts is strategically placed. When a curious monkey reaches into the box and grasps the nuts, its hand automatically clenches into a fist due to the tight space.

At this point, a predicament arises for the monkey. Although the opening was sufficient for the hand to enter, it proves too small for the clenched fist to withdraw. The monkey faces a decision: it can either maintain its grip on the tempting nuts and face capture or relinquish its hold and gain freedom. Surprisingly, the monkey consistently chooses to cling onto the nuts, ultimately leading to its capture.

In a thought-provoking analogy, many of us humans exhibit similar behavior to these monkeys. We find ourselves entangled in circumstances where we stubbornly cling to certain "nuts" that hinder our progress in life. These nuts, you are more familiar with than anyone else, act as obstacles preventing you from moving forward. By identifying these obstacles and releasing your grip on them, you can break free and achieve lasting freedom.

Often, we justify our inability to overcome these obstacles by uttering phrases such as "I cannot do this because..." The words that follow "because" represent the nuts we are desperately clinging to, holding us back from reaching our true potential.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Secret to success

A young man asked Socrates

"What is the secret to success."

Socrates told the young man:

"Meet me near the river tomorrow morning."

They met. Socrates asked the young man:

"Walk with him toward the river."

When the water got up to their neck, Socrates took the young man by surprise and ducked him into the water. The boy struggled to get out but Socrates was strong and kept him there until the boy started turning blue. Socratespulled his head out of the water and the first thing the young man did was to gasp and take a deep breath of air. Socrates asked,

'What did you want the most when you werethere?"

The boy replied,

"Air."

Socrates said, "That is the secret to success. When you want success as badly as you wanted the air, then you will get it." There is no other secret.

A burning desire is the starting point of all accomplishment. Just like a small fire cannot give much heat, a weak desire cannot produce great results.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Power Within: A Balloon Seller's Lesson on Success

I recall the tale of the Balloon vendor at the beach. Whenever sales were slow, the vendor would inflate a balloon with oxygen and set it free. As the balloon soared into the sky, children playing nearby would notice it, and sales would pick up. One day, following the usual routine, the vendor released a balloon.

Observing this, a child approached the vendor and asked, "If you release a Black balloon, will it still ascend?" The balloon vendor responded to the young boy, saying, "The color of the balloon doesn't matter; what truly counts is what's inside. It's the contents that lift it up."

Similarly, what lies within individuals is what propels them towards success. It holds true regardless of their field of work, business endeavors, or place of residence. The key lies in maintaining the right attitude.

Thw Right Attitude

An old man was walking along the road when he noticed a group of people working on the roadside to construct a building. Intrigued, the old man approached the first worker he encountered and asked, "What are you doing?"

The worker, looking tired, replied, "I am making a living."

Continuing his inspection of the construction site, the old man approached another worker and posed the same question, "What are you doing?"

The worker, slightly irritated, responded, "Can't you see? I am working with the stones."

As the old man circled the upcoming building, he came across a young worker who appeared happy and enthusiastic in his tasks. The old man asked him the same question, "What are you doing?"

With a joyful and radiant expression, the young worker replied, "We are building a magnificent Church. It will be completed within a few months. You should come and visit us then. The Church building will be beautiful, and you will find many people worshiping God here. There is still a lot of work to be done."

The young man invited the old man to revisit the site after a few months and worship God together.

From this old story, we can observe the different attitudes of people working on the same project. Those with the right attitude find happiness in their work, while those lacking the right attitude struggle to find fulfillment in their lives. Although they are all working on the same project, their attitudes vary.

Some view their work as a means to earn a living, to provide food for themselves and their families. Others focus solely on the tasks they are performing, like the second worker who mentioned working with stones.

The third worker's focus lies in the outcome—an extraordinary Church. He understands his purpose and envisions the end result. At times, we may find it challenging to progress in our own lives, feeling tired and weary of our daily work.